Dankprofessor’s Weblog

A weblog examining sexual politics in higher education and beyond.

Mourning and Remembrance at UNM

March 10 at 4:05 AM
by Christine

Thank you for the kind words. Thank you for keeping this article about Hector and Stefania. My uncle was a brilliant and tender man. My hope is that when people remember him the memories will be of his fabulous smile, his willingness to listen, and his absolutely brilliant mind.

This is such a loss to anyone that has ever or who might have crossed his path.

March 10 at 5:34 AM
by cathy

This is a wonderful description of a wonderful man I was lucky enough to call my uncle. Our hearts are broken, but it helps to hear how much he was loved.

March 10 at 6:40 AM
by Nathalie

‘No hay mal que por bien no venga’, this was the note in Spanish Hector sent to his/her friend.
But frankly, it’s difficult to see any good or the light out of this dark tunnel of pain and sorrow.
All our love, thoughts and memories to Hector’s and Stefanía’s families from Europe.
I owe Hector a lot, and we all miss him very, very much.
I didn’t have the chance to know Estefanía, but from here, Andalusia, the subject of her thesis, we will honor her memory.

March 10 at 6:53 AM
by C

This is such a tragedy. Stefania was a smart and kind woman. A wonderful person to have known. My heart goes out to her colleagues and family. I am grateful to have had her as a classmate.

March 10 at 7:32 AM
by Mick from Omaha

I feel that the “Reader” should be more concerned about what happened to two of the university’s “family” members verses the photography for the story. Mr. Torres was my son’s adviser and friend. My thoughts and prayers go out to both families and the university for this terrible tragedy.

March 10 at 7:38 AM
by Martin Engman

I knew Hector when I was a grad student and, subsequently, part-time instructor of mathematics from 86-96. At the time he was working on Linguistics and he and I would discuss the mathematical/logical structure of languages over coffee at the SUB or outside the Humanities building. This illustrates how broad-minded and multi-talented this great man was. He embraced knowledge of all kinds, in any scholarly area, and sought (always in a positive, fun, and extremely enthusiastic way) the connections between apparently distinct philosophies. This is a horrific and unbearable loss.
Vaya con dios, Hector.

March 10 at 8:17 AM
by Don Reese

Hector was a terrific friend who always treated me as a colleague when I was a graduate student at UNM. How terribly sad for such a kind and thoughtful man to die this way.

March 10 at 9:03 AM
by Bernardo Gallegos

I will miss Hector! He was one of my closest freinds. It is not often that one comes accross a person with the combination of intellectual passion, great sense of humor, and worldliness that he possessed. I will treasure all of the moments, arguments, good times, and overall commeraderie that we shared. I am fortunate to have a voicemail that Hector left me a few days ago talking about our freindship. He was so incredibally happy with the new relationship he had developed with Stefania, and I was going to meet her soon. I am in total disbelief about these seemingly surreal turn of events!

March 10 at 9:08 AM
by Kathy McCully

These two deaths come as a double blow for me, who knew them both in passing as a long time student at UNM. I helped Hector with some of his research on his last book, “Conversations with Contemporary Chicana and Chicano Writers” as a student employee at the library and he was always grateful for my help. Whenever I came over to Hector’s office, he always like to talk about his research and other ideas he had for the future.
I knew Stefania through an undergraduate program here at UNM when we went to present our research at North Texas University in Denton, TX. She was very worried over her daughters and concerned for their welfare. I hope that we, the UNM community and greater Albuquerque community, can honor their names with the suggested scholarship in honor of both of their memories and help others live better lives. Hector, Stefania, you will be missed.

March 10 at 9:23 AM
by Kathy mcCully

Is there something we can do to change the laws here in New Mexico about stalking someone? Ralph Montoya was a serial stalker and needed to be stopped way before it led to this tragedy. Unfortunately, the only thing that Stefania could do was to file a restraining order, which obviously did not work. I also know of several other women right now, who are students at UNM who are being stalked and I have known of other tragedies in the past that have occurred here in New Mexico because of poor laws protecting the victim.
This horrible attitude of stalking in New Mexico needs to stop right now!

March 10 at 10:47 AM
by Santhosh

It is really sad that Hector and Stephania are not with us anymore. Hector was a nice man with a brilliant mind. I will miss him. Hector and Stephania, RIP.

March 10 at 12:44 PM
by Rosalie

I personally never knew Professor Torres but my boyfriend took several courses from him at UNM. He would always come home after school and talk about what a brilliant and insightful professor he was. Professor Torres had even asked my boyfriend if he could attend his graduation this May. When I heard the news I was shocked and I immediately called my boyfriend to tell him about the tragedy. Words can never express the sadness and overwhelming emotions when two intelligent people are taken away from this world by an unstable erratic person. My heart and prayers goes out to both Hector and Stephania.

March 10 at 1:38 PM
by Sonya

I will miss my uncle tremendously – our wonderful conversations about so many books we’ve read and enjoyed, thinking about works that were on our “To Read” (or “To re-read” lists, ideas that were floating around in our minds on our mental “To Write” lists, story ideas I was thinking of writing, his thoughtful suggestions of books I should read . . . laughing about funny things that happened to us through the years, smiling about fun times, watching movies together, spending time together at my grandparents’ house. So many things – they ended too soon, too horribly.

This tragedy is definitely hard for us. All I can say is “saudade, Uncle. You are missed, loved, and remembered fondly.”

I can only offer sorrow and empathy for Stefania’s family and friends for their terrible loss. I’m sure it is as painful as my own family’s loss of Hector.

I agree with my cousins – it is good to see so many friends, students, acquaintances who miss the loss of our uncle. No, it doesn’t take away the pain, but it is good to know so many people appreciated him.

My prayers to Stefania’s family and friends – may they begin healing from this incomprehensible sorrow.

March 10 at 1:43 PM
by juliea Benzaquen

Yes, that smile was life giving. I will remember Mr. Torres as a wonderful, kind, funny, caring person and professor. I am so sad for our loss..He will be missed by all of his students!

March 10 at 4:40 PM
by Gloria Larrieu

I’ll never forget Hector. He was my prof for two classes in grad school at UNM and definitely a brilliant, loving, and humorous man. Bless him and Ms. Gray, as well as their families and friends. This is so sad and tragic.

March 10 at 5:51 PM
by Teclo Bolano, San Francisco, CA

I am, God, so appalled at this tragic, tragic loss of two such vibrant figures on campus. Never having been on campus myself (being self-educated, though well- read and a deep, keen thinker), I am doubly afflicted by this Pan-Latin, intranational nightmare. ?No hay mal que por bien no venga? Peut etre, but this surely pushes that envelope. I am imagining the sweet, sere campuscape of UNM, still in the balmy rising light of early dawn with this fine young couple, gliding arm-in-arm, pencil-dark in heavy shadow, blossoms sweet on the vestigial breeze off the mesa- they are, perhaps, going for coffee and chorizo at the local funky breakfast cafe of bohemian repute- the one where the china is chipped and unmatched, the coffe strong, the waitresses hirsute and sly. And…lo! They are not there. The hours have lengthened, the manicured gardens untrammelled now by those beloved shadowforms… Burn in whatever pagan hell begot you Ralph Montoya, 37!!!!!! Where is YOUR tearful portait, sir? At long last- where is YOUR tearful portrait????


March 10, 2010 - Posted by | University of New Mexico

1 Comment »

  1. Thanks for the time and energy you’ve put into this,

    bba india

    Comment by Amit | March 18, 2010 | Reply

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